Honeymoon horror: Parental coercion in marriage choices should stop, opine experts       

PIONEER NEWS SERVICE/Dehradun 

With chilling ‘extramarital’ crimes, including honeymoon murders, happening at regular intervals and leaving the nation shell-shocked, the experts advised the parents to not shove their choices on their reluctant children regarding choosing partners in marriage. If their choice of partners is not forced under parental pressure many of the gory crimes resulting from extramarital affairs may be avoided, they opined. The young women and girls from Dehradun this correspondent spoke to opined the same. 

The recent ‘honeymoon murder’ involving   Sonam Raghuvanshi grabbed the nation’s media limelight, forcing all to wonder how such macabre crimes could have happened. Notably, she had been allegedly forced into marriage by her parents.

A young woman, Shikha while talking to The Pioneer affirmed that the parents should desist from shoving their choices on their children.  “This happens in life. Reluctant girls are being coerced into martial bonds with persons with whom they have no emotional connection. The time has come when all should understand that marriage is a choice, not a punishment. If we choose the latter the consequences may be disastrous. The parents should, therefore, show flexibility and understanding and engage their children in frank communication when the time for choosing life partners comes,” she said.     

A woman from Dehradun, Pallavi Bisht also advocated a pragmatic approach in such matters. “If a man or a woman wants to marry someone despite their parents’ skepticism, both parties should communicate openly and honestly instead of clinging to doggedness. Open and frank discussion based on the respect for one another’s choice may go a long way in mitigating the number of such crimes. After all, it is the adult children who will share their life with their partners, not their parents. Families can express their opinions. They are entitled to do that. But this should not be dragged to irrational proportions like coercing the children into accepting life partners against their wills,” she stated.

 A practising psychologist, Dr Aditi Arora said that the parents need to initiate frank discussions with their children from an early age and maintain it into their adolescent years. “We are now noticing with some alarm that parents are spending more time on social media than on speaking to their children to understand what has been going on in their growing minds. They should encourage their children to open up to them on anything from academic to the amorous. The children, on their part, should also share their emotions freely with their parents. This is the only way to prevent pent-up anger and frustration from culminating into ghastly crimes,” she observed.

Another clinical psychologist, Pratibha Sharma, stated, “In view of such incidents, I would urge parents to foster a friendly bond with their children so that things which may spark tension are sorted out amicably with complete understanding of one anthers’ view.   The lesser the social media obsession the better for a healthy relation between parents and their children and for the society as well,” she opined.